Polite but what
Teachers at my school do this thing where they ask you a question, but walk right on by you. [I’m walking down the corridor and about to pass a teacher who is coming in the opposite direction] Me: Hi sir! Mr Hussein: Hi Kim, how are you? [keeps walking and so do I] Am I supposed to yell out “I’m good thanks, and you?!” or just keep walking like they didn’t say...
I just unfollowed a person I feel bad already Oh god I can’t remember their link so I can follow them again Oh god Oh god Oh god
Inspired by the rain
How does an umbrella help me write lame jokes? It keeps me dry Whenever I write the word “inspired”, I feel like some artistic dancer girl whose going to wave her arms slowly and it’ll be all deep and meaningful
I’m not one who normally swears, though I wish I could do it so much more freely because I feel like it would make some situations a lot funnier. What’s a better way to say someone went crazy? “THEY WENT APESHIT MAN!” But the closest I’ve been to swearing on a daily basis was the beginning of last year on my Blogspot, where I repeatedly used the phrase “f*cking...
Smash or pass?
Is smash supposed to be “I’d beat you up” and pass supposed to be “You pass my test”? I don’t get this one
Being a cathode
From now on, I’m going to stop whining about my problems and be more optimistic. I’m going to be so positive, all of your negatively-charged fridge magnets will jump off your fridge and run after me, sticking to me like the barnacles on a whale. I’ll have so many fridge magnets on me, I’ll look like a walking blob of random real-estate calanders, Pizza Hut coupons and...
Not in my tastes
Did you hear about the fashion label called Pepper? It’s in season
What do you call a trigonometric function that stayed in the sun for too long? y = tan x She wasn’t normal. She was a tangent. The sun is a perfect x squared plus y squared equals radius squared A man was making an important decision so he asked for a sign. He was given a piece of paper that said “sin x”. Why? Be cos x.